The term “essential” took on a whole new weight during the Covid years. We suddenly had a very clear, albeit sometimes stark, understanding of who and what truly kept society functioning.
But beyond those officially designated roles, there’s another layer of essentialness, one that resides within our personal ecosystems – our friend groups, our sense of belonging. Instead of constantly striving to make ourselves “essential” in some grand, external way (beyond simply being a good person and contributing our fair share), perhaps we should consider the more intimate ways we become essential to those around us.
Think about those friends who become quietly indispensable. Maybe it’s the one who always meticulously plans the group trips, ensuring smooth sailing and memorable experiences. Or the one who consistently brings warmth and nourishment to gatherings through their thoughtful cooking. These aren’t necessarily grand gestures, but they weave into the fabric of our relationships, making those individuals feel uniquely valued.
More importantly, though, the question that keeps circling in my mind is this: how can we truly make the people we cherish know that they are essential to us? That feels like the real work. So, here’s a little homework, if you’re willing: reach out to three people with whom you’ve shared a deeper connection and simply let them know they are essential to you. It’s a small act, but it has the potential to resonate deeply. They’ll likely feel a little brighter, a little more seen. And if we all took a moment to do this, perhaps we could face each day with a greater sense of belonging, a deeper feeling in our own hearts that we matter, that our presence would genuinely be missed.